Friday, February 25, 2011

Feeling Insecure in Relationships May Predispose People to Later Cardiovascular Problems, Says Research

People who feel insecure about their attachments to others might be at higher risk for cardiovascular problems than those who feel secure in their relationships according to a new study published by the American Psychological Association
"This is the first study to examine adult attachment and a range of specific health conditions," said lead author Lachlan A. McWilliams, PhD, of Acadia University in Nova Scotia, Canada. He and a colleague examined data on 5,645 adults age 18 to 60 from the National Cormorbidity Survey Replication and found that people who felt insecure in relationships or avoided getting close to others might be at a higher risk of developing several chronic diseases.
Ratings of attachment insecurity were positively associated with a wide range of health problems, they found. "Much of the health research regarding attachment has focused on pain conditions, so we were initially surprised that some of our strongest findings involved conditions related to the cardiovascular system," said McWilliams.
Participants rated themselves on three attachment styles -- secure, avoidant, and anxious. Secure attachment refers to feeling able to get close to others and being willing to have others depend on you. Avoidant attachment refers to difficulty getting close to others and trusting others. Anxious attachment refers to the tendency to worry about rejection, feel needy and find others are reluctant to get close to you.
The participants answered a questionnaire about their histories of arthritis, chronic back or neck problems, frequent or severe headaches, other forms of chronic pain, seasonal allergies, stroke and heart attack. They also disclosed whether a doctor had told them they had heart disease, high blood pressure, asthma, chronic lung disease, diabetes or high blood sugar, ulcers, epilepsy, seizures or cancer. They were also questioned regarding their history of psychological disorders.
After adjusting for demographic variables that could account for the health conditions, the authors found that avoidant attachment was positively associated with conditions defined primarily by pain (e.g., frequent or severe headaches). Anxious attachment was positively associated with a wider range of health conditions, including some defined primarily by pain and several involving the cardiovascular system (e.g., stroke, heart attack or high blood pressure).
The authors also adjusted for lifetime histories of common psychological disorders and found that people with anxious attachments were at a higher risk of chronic pain, stroke, heart attack, high blood pressure and ulcers.
"These findings suggest that insecure attachment may be a risk factor for a wide range of health problems, particularly cardiovascular diseases. Longitudinal research on this topic is needed to determine whether insecure attachment predicts the development of cardiovascular disease and the occurrence of cardiovascular events, such as heart attacks, “said McWilliams. "The findings also raise the possibility that interventions aimed at improving attachment security could also have" positive health outcomes."

True love exist only in the spiritual world.

Fairytale Love is Just That – a Fairytale

True love exist only in the spiritual world.

If you think that finding the love of fairytales will make you happy, think again. The love of fairytales isn't really love, but the use of others for self satisfaction.

What we normally call love is the egoistic satisfaction of one person by another, whether it's sexual satisfaction or any other kind of fulfillment we receive from another person. And clearly, this isn't love.

Then what is love? Love is when you don't pay any attention to yourself, but you take the desires of another person and try to fulfill them in exactly the way they would like. In other words, you turn yourself into a vessel of fulfillment for the other person. This is real love, and it exists only in the spiritual world. And there is no difference if it is a man or a woman - what's important are the desires, the soul.

In contrast, when we talk about love in this world, we are really talking about attraction and pleasure that are brought about by hormones. If we were to disconnect a person from his hormonal system, he wouldn't be able to feel "love." This again shows that what we usually think of as love is just an egoistic desire to enjoy. Sometimes this desire can even be cruel, desiring to receive fulfillment at the expense of another person.

Hence, the love we read about in fairytales is really an illusion, and does not exist in reality. It's because all of our desires are based only on the desire to fulfill ourselves. Even when we give something to others, we do so only because it gives us pleasure. Our action of giving is meaningless because what really matters to us while performing that action is what we feel.

Source :

Feeling Insecure ?

Is being possessive is being insecure ? Why?

  1. There is no importance in possessiveness of any kind in a relationship. Being in a committed relationship means that you share everything with each other. There is no mine or yours but ours. A possessive person is a selfish person that doesn't know how or doesn't want to share. It does not show that the other person cares it just shows that the other person is selfish. So don't confuse possessiveness with love or someone caring for you because they have two totally different meanings.
  2. YES it screams insecurity and is soooo unactive... you can show people you care with out acting like you own them... It will also push people away because they will feel controlled - please try to keep in check and when you get that urge to be possessive maybe just say "It would make me feel better if you....." and see what they do...

    Some times the possessiveness is created,, but then you dont want that to be the case... try to look at your situtation and figure out why you feel that way.. it is you? or is it how they make your feel?
  3. Yes, possessiveness is a sign of insecurity. If they let their partner go, even a little, they are afraid they'll find a much better partner and leave. So, they maintain their grip by using insults and making threats or using guilt to manipulate. Yes, I agree it's okay to be a little possessive, but not to such an extent that it caused a person to be unable to live their own life.
  4. Possessive is fine. Controlling is fine. But both in excess is ruin. Men are supposed to posses a sense. I mean, ur his, n if showing it makes him secure, then let him state it. Let him tell u he'd like u to dress a certain way n things. It shows he cares for ur well being n how u'll be perceived in the eyes of his family and others. But be careful, if u give in too much, u won't be able to bear it, n u won't have ur own identity anymore. So this is fine minimally, as yes, men like this are insecure, and having a woman to protect gives them security. U know, the she's mine n will love only me thing. Women are like this too, but less expressive about it. But don't let him control u beyond ur will n state that it's because he loves u, because that's manipulation, n if ur guard is up, u can tell right away.

    There is no importance is possessisveness. IF ur smart n secure in ur relationship, u'll never feel threatened by anyone coming in on it, because u'll know ur his n he's urs no matter what. But sometimes it's nice to know that ur man wants u to look wonderful in his eyes. But he should be willing to do the same for u. u should possess each other equally
  5. It means you value the person and the r/ship and don't want to lose it. I think it is healthy and normal to have some possessiveness. As long as you don't go overboard and then it becomes destructive. But it is protecting what you value. With no possessiveness, it might be too easy for another to steal your partner away. At least make the other person put up a fight. If that makes sense...
  6. It is a form of insecurity..the reason they act that way is because they are:
    1.scared to lose you
    2.have no confidence
    3.low self esteem that they have to control you
    4.simply is their nature to be the one in control

    either way a little is good cause he shows how he loves you so and as a woman that does make you feel special but going overboard means he needs some help.. you are not his property to bark when he says so and shush when directed...

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Get to know about yourself

This is me. I'm an ARIES !


21st March to 20th April

Symbol: The Ram
Ruling Planet: Mars
Quality: Cardinal
Element: Fire
Basic Trait: I Am
Closest Metal: Iron
Lucky Day: Tuesday
Lucky Colors: Blood Red and other bold colors
Lucky Gems: Jasper and Ruby
Lucky Flowers: Geraniums

The moment you come across an Aries, the first thing that comes to your mind is her friendly nature. The friendliest person in your neighborhood will most probably be an Aries personality. People having an Aries profile cannot tolerate injustice, always fight against it and will defend the weak. Aries, The Ram, is the first sign of the zodiac, considered to be the infant representing birth. Just like an infant, she is also aware only of herself and her needs. However, she is not selfish. It's just that she is totally ignorant of the fact that her needs may be causing you some inconvenience.

The innocence of Aries people is enough to cover their, sometimes, aggressive behavior. This naive brings fearlessness, while at the same time making them highly vulnerable. They trust people easily, get hurt in the process, forgive and forget, and then, trust again. An Aries person is beyond shrewdness and fallacy and can never lie, not even to save her life. She is what she seems to be. Qualities like subtlety, diplomacy or modesty just don't gel with Aries symbol. An Aries can be calm, wise and serious, but not before he has gone past youth.

She is pretty impatient, but liberal with money and material things. Frankness, lack of stability, fear of physical pain, optimism and impulsiveness are some of the basic Aries characteristics. One of the warmest and the most generous zodiac sign, Aries always prefers fame to money. She may get extremely angry in a minute, but the anger seldom lasts for a long time. Aries people never nurse a grudge and completely forgive and forget. They will never let you know that they are hurt.

They are never shy of apologizing, but they will be hurt if you remember the harsh words they said in anger, but didn't mean. Gossip does not interest an Aries and for her, people are either black or white, without any shades of grey. There is one thing an Aries can never fall short of, conversation. She can speak about anything & everything under the sun. She lives in the present and is a realist, yet believes in miracles. Aries chase success, not waiting for it to fall in their lap, and don't accept defeat. Failure can never keep them down.

Most of the Aries people are involved in business or creative arts or are involved in planning and organization.
If an Aries does something for you, don't forget to express your gratitude. Otherwise, he will be deeply hurt. However, that would not stop him from helping again. Aries usually stick to their opinion and won't listen to anything they do not believe. They have a contemplative side to their personality. The simplicity is blended with the blind passion of a born crusader. Aries is mentally strong and always one of the pioneers.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


i want things back how they used to be :(